Not only are these horse jokes silly and fun, but they are kid friendly and safe for all ages. Whats the difference between a horse and the weather?One reigns up and one rains down! The pastor explains, to make the horse go, you gotta yell, Thank God! And to make it stop, yell, Hallelujah. The cowboy rides off. 50.) 15 Ways to Get Rid of Belly Fat After C-Section Delivery, Top 6 Ways to Lose Neck Fat Fast (Natural Methods), 57 Gym Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workout (2022), The Boiled Egg Diet: A Detailed Beginners Guide for 2022, How to Lose 20 Pounds: The Ultimate Guide with a Fool-Proof Plan, Ginger Tea Benefits: 14 Advantages of Drinking This Tea, Kneeling Squat: How-To, Technique, And Alternatives, Lean vs Bulk Body: The Differences and Benefits, The 3 Best Post-Workout Supplements of 2022, The Military Diet: The Ultimate Guide (2022 Update), Forskolin for Weight Loss: Fact or Fiction? How do bees brush their hair. Have you seen the movie Spirit? Son: Can I have a pony for Christmas?Mom: The ovens only big enough for a turkey! These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. If she doesnt wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower. Need more animal jokes? What did the horse say when he wouldnt eat his hay off the ground? Everyone loves horses and its ride. Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? 10.) A: Thoreau-Breads. Where do horses go when they're sick? 75.) Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion behind you. Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! Q: What street did the horse live on? What kind of food do competitive horse races like to eat?Fast food. Get ready to roll around on the floor laughing because these hilarious horse jokes for kids are coming your way. Take a look for yourself if you dont trust us. Every time her friend started looking, shed run right pasture! A. Before telephones, horses used horse code. It was pasture bedtime! Did you hear what happened to the best horse racer of all time? The next day she rode back on Friday, too. From corny puns to silly quips, your kid will now have a pocket full of horse jokes to pull out and make their friends laugh.. A: When it's neck and neck. This Florida city was just named best place to live in the U.S. Miami isn't even close Horsing around - Mischievous little horses like horsing around. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. The outside. Stable tennis. Here they are: 56.) Q: What did the horse say in the hundred acre wood? A horse walks into a bar. 83.) He thought he might get a kick out of it! Long jokes are usually hilarious because of the buildup and a proper punchline at the end. From puppies in the park to the bunny rabbits that dominate the most beloved storybooks, many of the first words children learn are the names of animals from the cat in the house to the giraffe far, far away. The horse might stirrup some trouble! Find out the funny answer in today's jokes! "Excuse me, good sir," the horse says, "are you hiring?" The manager looks the horse up and down and says, "Sorry, pal. More than half of the feral horses in the Western United States are in Nevada. Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? 3. 89.) What do you do when your coworker asks you to stop making horse jokes? Theyll undoubtedly cause some amusement. 23 funny horse jokes to enjoy 1. But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. Have you ever met a horse that could make a sandwich? Joke of the Week: What kind of snacks does a duck like. We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! He forgot to put more mon-hay into his barn account. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America Europe and Asia. A. It was a real tale of whoa! (In a whisper), your neigh-bor. Puns are great and all, but they can get a bit repetitive after a while (we are looking at you, stable jokes!). Q: Why did the man stand behind the horse? Q: Why did the horse play his music so loud? A: Thorough-bread. What kind of horse is the fastest?A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower. These horse knock knock jokes will make you laugh out loud, and if youre feeling particularly horsey, share some of these amusing horse jokes with your pals to burst out laughter in the room. He took the precious book out of the horses mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, Its a miracle! Not really, said the horse. How is this possible? Dont miss these duck jokes thatll surely quack you up. A: To get to the bale of hay. How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. What do you call a horse with two legs?A horse without two legs. 45.) Some poor horse is walking around in socks. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but cant make him drink.What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!Which type of cheese do horses like best?Masc-a-ponyWhat do you give a horse with a sore throat?Cough stirrup.Why was the horse feeling so stressed?It was saddled with responsibility!How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse? These horse jokes for kids are fun and enjoyable for everyone. A: Lightning Colts. Where do you find a horse with no legs?Where you left him. Did you hear about the horse who had to go to court?At first, he was going to lie, but then the judge reminded him he was under oats. Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? 17. What is a horses favorite television show? He never did any of that!. 39.) ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. I have this terrible sore throat., The doctor assures him, Its okayyoure just a little horse.. 86.) I did, but they used too much mayo-neighs! The same can be said for horseback riding, no matter which riding style you are performing. Riddle: Why did the cowboy only wear one spur? He has a beautiful wife and a Mini Australian Shepherd that own most of his time and heart. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. A. Do you know what happened to the man that tried to wash the horses mane? A cowboy walks into an expensive car showroom and says, "Audi!". Race it, replies the jockey, surprised. The domestic environment in which horses live can, at times, be vastly different from the environment they'd inhabit out in the wild. What did the horse say after she fell over? Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. What do you think I am? A: The Globe Trotters. Youll enjoy these top-notch horse jokes if youre an equestrian! The next day he rode back on Friday. 60.) I was going to ship a small horse using UPS, but decided to use the Pony Express instead. A: Horse doeuvres. But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. He ran out of sham-pony! At a glance, Bargatze . A: They age. Heres a whole collection of horse jokes for kids 99 of them. A: Fiddler on the hoof. A horse walks into a restaurant. All Rights Reserved. If you love animal humor, check out these deer puns that really make the heart grow fawnder. A Kanye West documentary is heading to Netflix and Cardi B is. Stable tennis. She was horsing around! A man asks his vet, Will I be able to race my horse again?The vet said, Yes, of course, you will. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country., The guy is flabbergasted. Ive fallen and I cant giddy-up. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground? This is the best collection of Clean Horse Jokes that youll find anywhere. Those long faces and massive teeth, on the other hand, can provide some horse jokes for pretty good belly laughs. Dont miss these unfunny anti-jokes that youll still laugh at anyway. What kind of food do racehorses like to eat? Why are most horses in shape?Because they are on a stable diet. 28.) What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella? Horse jokes for kids and adults? What did one horse say to the other horse?Your pace (face) is familiar but I cant remember your mane (name). Some of the puns were too foal! As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Where do horses live map. It said horse-shoo fly dont bother me. Horses can sleep both lying down and standing up. 21.) Which planet loves to sing. Humorous horses and their funny stories are the focus of these dirty horse jokes! The one that you won? asks the other horse. A: They both hold the reins. A woman rode her horse all the way up a hill on Friday. 42.) About Horses November 12, 2008. She impressed all the horses with her whip and neigh neigh. Where do horses live in a city? Here are 65 funny horse jokes and the best horse puns to crack you up. The man replied, "I did. Q: What was the name of the horse musical? They're always surrounded by nature and fellow horses! Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. The waiter says, "Hey.". Q: How do you hire a horse? When does a horse talk?Whinny wants to! So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. Show Answer Trouble Trouble Riddle: There is a man, with his horse he is going to a town. Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. I was telling my barber about the time I found a small horseBut he cut off my pony tale! Horse jokes are better when they are short and sweet, so thats where this convenient list of horse jokes comes in handy. A talking horse!. Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay?He thought it would make it softer to ride on. A: He was a disk jockey from Filly. 52.) These are appropriate for any age, so you dont need to be wary of sharing them with a broad audience. What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse. 27 Best Psychology Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh, 41 Hilarious Dirty Jokes to Laugh Your Heart Out (NSFW), 37 Anti Jokes That You Shouldnt Be Laughing At, 27 Funniest Stupid Jokes You Just Have to Tell Your Friends. Thats not my assigned stable. Where do horses livethis joke is clean and funnyIf the joke makes you laugh or gigglewe will be very happy to hear thatEnjoy the joke. However, that doesn't mean that us equine enthusiasts don't like to laugh from time to time. Yes please, says the horse. 142 Funny Horse Puns That Are Just Oat-Standing. I need a stable income., A horse walks into a school and says hey. Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. A: Bonnie and Clydesdale. Why did the foal get in trouble at school? Q: How are clouds like horse jockeys? Shows. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. The jokes within this collection are fun, light, and kid-friendly. The doctor said: Its OK, youre just a little horse.A jockey is walking down the road leading a racehorse when he bumps into a friend. He tried to quit colt turkey, but it didnt work. When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to "neigh" as you say the word "neighborhood". First things first: We love horses. 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